boomercharged.net

The lighter side of the Left 4 Dead zompocalypse

Your Mission, Agent Infected, If You Choose To Accept It

Greetings, Agent Infected. I trust that you managed to sort out that nasty incident with the molotov cocktail and the flying car safely.

It appears we have a problem- four survivors are attempting to escape via a network of saferooms, culminating in an escape vehicle to the military base. They must be stopped.

However, this will be radically more difficult than any mission you have undertaken so far. In the interest of ensuring your success, we have sent four special agents to assist you- Agent Hunter, Smoker, Boomer, and Tank. They will assist you whenever possible, but even they cannot stand up to this batch of survivors.

We have also hired a special mercenary, known only as “The Witch”.

However, as it has been said, these survivors are too strong for you to be able to kill them easily. Luckily, we have found out that there are, in fact, three ways to stop them from reaching their objective.

Firstly, we have found that upon being dealt enough damage, the survivors will be incapacitated and knocked to their feet- however, the other survivors can assist them in getting to their feet- but if left on the ground for too long, they will bleed to death. As such, if all four of them are incapacitated simultaneously, they will be unable to assist each other and they will all perish, resulting in your victory.

Secondly, we have determined that the survivors are resilient but simply cannot recover unscathed from being incapacitated repeatedly. After the first and second incapacitations, the survivor will regain their footing grievously injured, but if they are knocked off their feet for a third time, they will perish from simple overtaxing of their bodies. However, if a survivor is healed with a first aid kit, this number of incapacitations resets to zero.

Lastly, with the assistance of enough of our special agents, it is possible to kill a survivor who is incapacitated, however to do this we do recommend a large number of Infected to pile on damage.

Good luck and god speed, Agent Infected. This briefing will explode in five seconds…

 

18 Responses to “Your Mission, Agent Infected, If You Choose To Accept It” (post new)

  1.  

    Dr. Tank

    From Mercy Hospital With Love

    NoFinger

    You Only Live Twice (No Changes There :P)

    Pistols Are Forever

    The Witch Who Loved Me

    For Your Eye Only

    The Un-Living Daylights

    Survivors Never Die

    Live Another Day

  2.  

    Unfortunatly for me, I don’t have a good pun device. All I can come up with is…

    um….

    I’ve got nothing. This is what happens when you only leave Octopussy and Moonraker left.

  3.  

    Boomraper!

  4.  

    Well, there’s also Thunderball, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, The Man With The Golden Gun, Live and Let Die, A View To Kill, License to Kill, GoldenEye, The World Is Not Enough, Casino Royale, and Quantum of Solace. But they don’t lend themselves to zombie jokes.

  5.  

    *message explodes*
    *boom’d on*

    *horde of zombies*

    This was amusing. I’ve had a bad day, and this lightened my mood a bit.

    The Hunter Who Pounced Me?

  6.  

    I have to admit, this is technically a reference to Mission Impossible, not Bond, but Mission Impossible doesn’t really have much potential for title jokes.

  7.  

    “In 2008, a crack team of crazy, a group of 4 severely messed up people were killed by an mutated strain of rabies. These men promptly were re-animated and were horribly mutated. Today, still wanted by the Survivors, they survive as tormentors and griefers of the last remaining humans on earth. If you have a foolish human who you need eradicated, if no horde can stop them, and if you can find the human brains to pay them, maybe you can hire the Z-Team.”

  8.  

    Whoops. That’s supposed to be “a crack team of four crazy, severely messed up people.”

    heh.

  9.  

    Quantum of Louis

  10.  

    The Hoard is not enough!

    P.S. I didn’t know when you use your health kit the amount of times you can get knocked down resets. I use my kit when I am first knocked down. A change of tactics may be needed…

  11.  

    The Pills are not Enough
    License to Smoke

    “Ughdmrmrh” - A Boomer love Story
    “Wheeze” - A documentary piece where the Smoker gives his view on the UK public smoking ban.

    How about the Witch giving an educational talk on Self-Esteem and self-worth?

  12.  

    I should have done “The Witch Who Killed Me” instead. That makes more sense :P

  13.  

    “The survivor with the automatic shotgun”

    “Licence to puke”

    Those are all I can come up with =(

  14.  

    Well, I can think of afew things based on the titles SirMax said. Which I feel bad about forgetting myself.

    RubyEyed

    A You To Kill

    Epicac of Attracting

    I feel like explaining that last one. Mostly because I probably spelt that first word wrong.

  15.  

    ipecac, you mean? And that’s not vomit itself, it just induces vomiting.

  16.  

    Yha, I ment ipecac.

    And I couldn’t think of a fancy word for throwing up, so I went with that.

  17.  

    ???????? | ????????????? ??? ?? ????? ????? ? ?? http://p1p3.net ???? ?? ??? ?? ? ???????? ??????? ?

  18.  

    I do believe that this has the most posts ive seen. But i think Sean Connery has to play Agent Hunter. Just cause Sean Connery pouncing me wouldnt be as bad as a weird hooded guy.

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