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The lighter side of the Left 4 Dead zompocalypse

Just Shoot The Damn Witch

Lately, we’ve been coming across more dead survivors- immunes like us, killed by the infected or worse. Lots of them have journals on them, writing about their experiences. I’ve started to read them, to maybe get an insight on all this that’s been going on for the last week and a half. This is the latest one we found…

7/23/2009 9:23PM

Apparently, I’m the only sane one around here. For some reason which continually escapes me, the rest of my party seems to be sympathising with one of THEM.

It’s this nasty piece of work- they keep telling me not to point a flashlight at it, so I can’t get a great look, but I can see her in the light of the fires sometimes. She’s got these terrible claws, and they call her a “witch”. I know- sounds like a high priority target. But for SOME reason, they won’t raise a weapon against her. We’ve been here for hours trying to find a way around her, and she just sits there, crying like a little girl. It’s creepy, and it’s driving me absolutely INSANE.

7/23/2009 10:23 PM

It’s been three hours now. I can’t take this any more. That crying is unbearable. Why aren’t we killing her? Because she’s a girl? Because she’s upset? There’s no ROOM for sympathy here. This is the APOCOLYPSE.

I killed my friend yesterday. Shot him right in the face, because he was infected.

Surely they don’t expect me to spare this freak.

7/23/2009 11:23PM

That’s it. I’m going to shoot her. They can’t stop me.

Image by Daddy-of-war

Image by Daddy-of-war

The rest of the journal is covered in blood. We’ll have to remember this one- a girl with claws. Don’t shine a light on her, try to find a way around, shooting her doesn’t turn out well. I’ll remember to tell Bill…

 

18 Responses to “Just Shoot The Damn Witch” (post new)

  1.  

    Ahh, but what do you do when she is in the middle of the subway carriage? That is the question…

  2.  

    Sacrifice one of your guys

  3.  

    Every hour on the 23, eh? Weird tradition.

    Ben

  4.  

    Sneak up behind her and shoot her in the back of the head with the shotgun. Problem solved.

  5.  

    First entry: 7/23/2009 9:23PM

    Second entry: 7/23/2009 10:23 PM

    It’s been three hours now…

    SIRMAX CAN TIME TRAVEL!

  6.  

    first entry: “We’ve been here for hours”
    second entry, one hour later: “It’s been three hours now”
    hence they’d already been there two hours.

  7.  

    Obviously they weren’t giving her a friendly hug.

    http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=efnS37__nSY

  8.  

    I have to agree with sbk, it’s easier to just “Crown” her with an auto shotty than anything else.

  9.  

    She’s always gotten up and attacked me before you can get close enough to get all the spread on her head.

  10.  

    Amazing how the mere suggestion of a story can fire up the imagination more than just spelling it out yet eh?

    I’ve found myself all the more immersed from the strange, almost fragmented scraps of story being passed around. Hah, I found out Zoey hums the Final Fantasy theme at some point and went “Oh, she’s a gamer!”
    Little things like that.

    Also, for maximum Witch disposal on high difficulty I recommend the ‘bait’ technique. Teammate 1–with Uzi or Assault Rifle (or Sniper rifle!) Tags her as long range as he can muster. Player two intercepts with auto-shotty and turns her into ugly stain.

    Alternatively, set her on fire. Fire works.

  11.  

    Also, you spelt “Apocalypse” wrong. >_>

  12.  

    no he didn’t. it was the guy who wrote the journal who spelt it wrongly. good thing he died then; i don’t think the world could survive with another person who can’t spell properly.

  13.  

    It isn’t hard to kill a witch if you have an auto shotty, pump shotty takes skill where you gotta run up to her and blast her in the face 1-2 times (nets the cr0wnd achievement).

    Auto shotty, same thing but start backing up and continuing to blast her face as she runs to you.

  14.  

    Yes, obviously it’s just that the journal writer can’t spell it. Ahem. Totally.

    And yes, I find that with both Tank and Witch one of the best strategies is to lure them with one player while the others shoot her. This works best with a hunting rifle, the lure shoots her from miles off and runs while everyone else murders her.

  15.  

    Interesting read, I agree with ‘And yes, I find that with both Tank and Witch one of the best strategies is to lure them with one player while the others shoot her. This works best with a hunting rifle, the lure shoots her from miles off and runs while everyone else murders her.’ I always like to stand miles away, shoot, and then the team get her.

  16.  

    Nice work. I look forward to many more of these journal entries.

    Also, July 2009? That doesn’t leave long to prepare for the apocalypse!

  17.  

    @Siwongo.

    The fact that the anti-tank tatic you describe is so effective is why I’m starting to believe that’s almost entirely up to the other infected to make the tank useful. The more people get the hang of him, the more he, by himself, is not much of a threat.

  18.  

    Actually said bait tactic dosnt seem to be working very well. I usually let the witches live. The reasoning behind this is i kinda respect em. Anyone else here been saved from a tank by a witch? I have and after you see her kill the tan then just sit back down and NOT notice you youll feel liek making sweet hot yet mildly awkward sex with her.

    But yeah. Witch+’Eeeeer!’ing=BACK THE FUCK OFF

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